Feb. 23rd, 2011
This is it. This is wheredavid_deacon will get what he has wanted all along: a response from me. Apparently he’s been fishing for one so I will give it in my public post and I really don’t care anymore because after this I won’t be posting another public entry pertaining to him at all. First and foremost, I have to APOLOGIZE for ever feeling curious enough to want to help him. I was in over my head. I didn’t realize he was as sick as he was and quite frankly, I’m still in training and need a lot more after this one.
I offered to help because I saw a little of him in me, except he’s much older and should have sought out real help for his psychological issues a long time ago instead of letting them get worse like he has. He can’t help anyone if he won’t help himself.
Secondly: I’m clearing my LJ name. I was NEVER EVER date raped. Apparently he has an obsession with women who don’t do what he tells them or don’t react the way he likes them to calling them controlling and hell, they MUST have been date raped. I was never date raped a day in my life and I thank God for that. I don’t know who the hell he is to even insinuate that, but yeah, that never happened. Next thing you know he’ll be labeling me a feminist since they are all evil and I MUST be a feminist for speaking my mind. What he says about my fiancée: he is NOT weak willed. He is an adult and can handle his life quite well. He is very strong with everything that he goes through and the fact that david_deacon accuses this of a person he doesn’t even know should prove that maybe it is david_deacon who is the weak willed one. I wanted to say something much crueler as well, anything negative said by anyone regarding my fiancée usually pisses me off. But, I won’t. Why should I? Look at the source.
Regarding this date rape obsession: What’s with that? Could it be that david_deacon himself was date raped? He always mentioned that there was “more to the story”. Did he get arrested for maybe date raping someone else? Did he get accused of it and holds a personal vendetta? Who knows? And on my end…I think I’m going to have to say who cares?
It is truly amazing that the ones who point fingers stating comments like: “You'd better hold onto your weak-willed boys, all three of you. No man with anything resembling a spine would have you.” , are the same people who are still either single, or need a lot of help themselves.
I am mature enough to admit that I have issues and that I have been in therapy a long time. I’ve been getting help the RIGHT way. There are ways to get it for free if you really want it, david_deacon . If you REALLY WANT IT. The right help from a hospital. You can do that you know. You need it!
But, no, you choose to slander the names of those who were willing to help you even if it wasn’t professionally done, and were willing to be really honest with you and see that you had a problem with obsession over this woman. That it was eating you up inside and rotting you out, and contrary to popular belief IT WASN’T BLAIR’S FAULT. She never ASKED for you to obsess over her just like you never ASKED for me to help you which again, I have to apologize for. I am sure Blair never said, “I want that david_deacon to write entries about me since 2006 so that I can feel special or I want him to come to the bar all the time even though I have clearly told management to tell him to stop because it creeps me out!” All you saw was that other people wanted her and were jealous. You ever think that for ONCE she really was creeped out by you??? You ever think it was because she wasn’t attracted to you? Just because someone smiles and gives you a little attention or even converses with you and plays Trivia pursuit with you in a bar doesn’t mean she wants to leave her boyfriend for you. Just because her boyfriend is a NICE GUY and just because she made the mistake of complaining to you about him doesn’t mean she wants to sleep with you!
He wants an apology from me. Fine, I apologize for feeling sorry for you and wanting to help you out. I will NOT apologize for telling you the truth. You speak of boundaries. Your boundary was to not be told that the woman whom you wanted to fuck, and have her give a blow job to you (this was typed in French in one of his entries by the way) DID NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU DID. I’m glad you have LJ friends that you can continue to fool. Because the truth is you need the lie.
By the way, folks, do not be stupid like me, and give david_deacon your real name as well as your phone numbers. Or he will call you over and over again. I wanted to help him so much that I did that. Now I’m re-thinking what I had done. Oh and I’m sure david_deacon will mention that I texted him like a mad woman when he pissed me off and I felt I had to tell him off myself. Yes, I will admit to this. I won’t lie about that, however I was never VICTIMIZED by david_deacon . I was just annoyed when he would call me at like 2:00 AM while I had work the next day and was already losing sleep and quite frankly, did not want to hear his analytical lies about Blair. Because he’s the one who is fucking up and just not living his own life, getting it together and moving on. He has a lot of potential. It’s just a shame he needs the lie so damn much.
Please, move on…
Which is what I am going to do now. Move on. I don’t care how many nasty fucking comments I get on here over this public entry but at this point I won’t be reading your public entries anymore. That was also stupid of me and I apologize for doing so.
Good luck with your life Rocky. Good luck and good riddance.
And there you have it. I’m done and over it. I’m out.